{"id":26327,"date":"2020-09-01T14:24:01","date_gmt":"2020-09-01T14:24:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/scienceblog.cancerresearchuk.org\/?p=17912"},"modified":"2024-11-03T15:16:19","modified_gmt":"2024-11-03T15:16:19","slug":"grandparents-of-children-with-cancer-i-would-never-want-to-go-through-it-again","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ogkologos.com\/en\/grandparents-of-children-with-cancer-i-would-never-want-to-go-through-it-again\/","title":{"rendered":"Grandparents of children with cancer: \u201cI would never want to go through it again\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"GrandmotherGrandmother and Granddaughter together. <\/p>

” data-medium-file=”https:\/\/scienceblog.cancerresearchuk.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Vivienne_Alyssa_hero-1-300×168.jpg” data-large-file=”https:\/\/scienceblog.cancerresearchuk.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Vivienne_Alyssa_hero-1.jpg”><\/p>

Vivienne is grandmother to Alyssa, who was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukaemia in 2014.<\/p><\/div>

As part of Childhood Cancer Awareness Month, we sp<\/span><\/span>oke to<\/span><\/span> 3<\/span><\/span> grandparents<\/span><\/span> about their experience of<\/span><\/span> h<\/span><\/span>aving a grandchild with cancer.<\/span><\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Vivienne<\/span><\/span>:<\/span><\/span> \u201c<\/span><\/span>Y<\/span><\/span>ou<\/span><\/span> can\u2019t stop your mind from fearing the worst, but you need to be so positive.<\/span><\/span>\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/h2>\n

Vivienne is grandmother to Alyssa, who was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukaemia in<\/span> 2014<\/span>.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAlyssa was 7 when she was diagnosed. I remember they came to the house one day and Alyssa looked puffy and awful \u2013 she did not look well,\u201d says<\/span> Vivienne.<\/span><\/p>\n

Alyssa\u2019s mother<\/span> Angela<\/span> took her to the<\/span> doctor,<\/span> where<\/span> they were advised to go to the hospital<\/span>.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThey were at Preston Royal and Angela rang me to come to be with them<\/span>, Alyssa had been<\/span> admitted and was in a room<\/span> of her own. They said it was leukaemia and<\/span> they<\/span> were<\/span> waiting to take her to Manchester Children\u2019s Hospital<\/span>,<\/span>\u201d<\/span> Vivienne recalls<\/span>.<\/span> \u201cIt was such an anxious time. You can\u2019t stop your mind from fearing the<\/span> worst,<\/span> but you need to be so positive.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Vivienne lives half an hour from Alyssa and her family, so were nearby to support in whatever way<\/span> they could<\/span> \u2013 cooking, cleaning, babysitting<\/span> or acti<\/span>ng<\/span> as a taxi service<\/span>.<\/span> \u201c<\/span>S<\/span>ometimes<\/span> I would stay with Alyssa in hospital to give Angela and Michael, Alyssa\u2019s dad, a break.<\/span> I<\/span>t was all hands to the pump<\/span>.<\/span>\u201d<\/span> <\/span><\/p>\n

Grandmother and Granddaughter. <\/p>

” data-medium-file=”https:\/\/scienceblog.cancerresearchuk.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Vivienne_Alyssa_cropped.jpg” data-large-file=”https:\/\/scienceblog.cancerresearchuk.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Vivienne_Alyssa_cropped.jpg” class=”size-full wp-image-17919″ src=”https:\/\/zniup3zx6m0ydqfpv9y6sgtf-wpengine.netdna-ssl.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Vivienne_Alyssa_cropped.jpg” alt=”Grandmother and Granddaughter. ” width=”200″ height=”200″ srcset=”https:\/\/zniup3zx6m0ydqfpv9y6sgtf-wpengine.netdna-ssl.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Vivienne_Alyssa_cropped.jpg 200w, https:\/\/zniup3zx6m0ydqfpv9y6sgtf-wpengine.netdna-ssl.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Vivienne_Alyssa_cropped-150×150.jpg 150w” sizes=”(max-width: 200px) 100vw, 200px”><\/p>

Vivienne and Alyssa.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Cancer is something that<\/span> af<\/span>fects the whole family<\/span>, and<\/span> Vivienne describes how she also had to be there<\/span> to support her<\/span> daughter too. \u201c<\/span>I<\/span> had a lot of phone calls with Angela<\/span> \u2013 she is my daughter and I wanted to help as there was so much to deal with. Sometimes I would just listen to help her juggle everything.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

While Alyssa was receiving treatment<\/span>,<\/span> Vivienne made sure she was also able to attend<\/span> regular appointments with Alyssa and Angela.<\/span> \u201cI liked that as I felt like I was helping and checking we got all the<\/span> information and<\/span> asking the questions we needed to. And we were so lucky as the meetings were positive and she was responding well.<\/span> <\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cShe is doing so well now, and I know she has been so happy to help raise awareness to help others too.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSome of the memories are so vivid still, but I do feel we have moved away from it a bit. I would never want to go through it again.<\/span>\u201d<\/span> <\/span><\/p>\n

Liz:<\/span><\/span> \u201cLife is not fair\u201d <\/span><\/span> <\/span><\/h2>\n

Liz<\/span> and<\/span> <\/span>Danny,<\/span> Granny and Grandpa to Hamish, who sadly passed away in 2017. <\/span><\/p>\n

\"Liz<\/p>\n

Liz and Danny with Hamish and Lily.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\u201cBack in 2011, Susan and Sam were just starting life with Hamish and Lily and they were building their family. When Hamish was diagnosed<\/span> when he was two<\/span>, their world was turned upside down,\u201d says Liz.  <\/span> <\/span><\/p>\n

Hamish was immediately sent to Glasgow for treatment. Lily, Hamish\u2019s sister, went to stay with Liz and Danny<\/span>.<\/span> <\/span> <\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSusan and Sam did not really come home for 18 months. Lily went to join them down in Glasgow after about a month, and she even started school down there.\u201d  <\/span> <\/span><\/p>\n

While the family stayed in Glasgow, Liz and Danny were able to visit, and occasionally took Lily away for short breaks, \u201cbut it was such an unsettling time for everyone\u201d. <\/span> <\/span><\/p>\n

When the family did return home,<\/span> w<\/span>e<\/span> saw them every day, helping out in whatever way possible. \u201cWe were doing what we could but there was a feeling of helplessness too. We were having to watch what it was doing to all the family. As a parent, you spend your life trying to fix things for your<\/span> children<\/span>, or sorting things out, but this is not something we could fix.\u201d <\/span> <\/span><\/p>\n

And the family was rocked again in 2015, when Hamish\u2019s mum Susan was diagnosed with incurable breast cancer.  <\/span> <\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWe saw them every day and were around to do whatever<\/span> to help<\/span> Susan and Sam \u2013 everyone was so determined to keep things as normal as possible, for both Hamish and Lily,\u201d says Liz. \u201cBut it was so hard to see. You want to protect your family and it was so horrible. <\/span> <\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c<\/span>Susan had just finished her treatment when<\/span> Hamish<\/span> was<\/span> re-diagnosed with another type of cancer DIPG in 2016<\/span>.<\/span> We a<\/span>lways had always a glimmer of hope that there would be a breakthrough to cure<\/span> him<\/span>. However, he passed away in 2017<\/span> when he was just eight,<\/span> and you could see the impact it had on everyone \u2013 it was just heart-breaking. \u201c<\/span> <\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHamish was such an energetic lovely soul and everyone in the town knew him,\u201d says Liz.  <\/span> <\/span><\/p>\n

Since Hamish died, the family and local community have been busy fundraising for #TeamHamish and working hard to enhance the beautiful Links area in Nairn creating a waterside park in in his memory, located in Hamish\u2019s hometown. <\/span> <\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt has given us all something positive to focus on in this dreadful situation and we are here for Lily too, who is such a wonderful teenager now.\u201d <\/span> <\/span><\/p>\n

Susan was also re-diagnosed and had more treatment for her breast<\/span> cancer, but sadly<\/span> she<\/span> died earlier this year. <\/span> <\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt has all been so horrible again and words can\u2019t express how<\/span> we<\/span> feel about losing her too. <\/span> <\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know how passionate she was about the #TeamHamish project and it\u2019s more important than ever now to complete it. It is going to be a legacy to them both.\u201d<\/span> <\/span><\/p>\n

David:<\/span><\/span> \u201cThe whole experience has definitely made me a lot more emotional.\u201d <\/span><\/span> <\/span><\/h2>\n

David\u2019s grandson Evan was diagnosed with hepatoblastoma as a<\/span> newborn<\/span> baby in 2011. <\/span> <\/span><\/p>\n

Grandfather and grandson. <\/p>

” data-medium-file=”https:\/\/scienceblog.cancerresearchuk.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/David_Evan_cropped.jpg” data-large-file=”https:\/\/scienceblog.cancerresearchuk.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/David_Evan_cropped.jpg” class=”size-full wp-image-17917″ src=”https:\/\/zniup3zx6m0ydqfpv9y6sgtf-wpengine.netdna-ssl.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/David_Evan_cropped.jpg” alt=”Grandfather and grandson.” width=”200″ height=”200″ srcset=”https:\/\/zniup3zx6m0ydqfpv9y6sgtf-wpengine.netdna-ssl.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/David_Evan_cropped.jpg 200w, https:\/\/zniup3zx6m0ydqfpv9y6sgtf-wpengine.netdna-ssl.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/David_Evan_cropped-150×150.jpg 150w” sizes=”(max-width: 200px) 100vw, 200px”><\/p>

David with Grandson, Evan, who was diagnosed with hepatoblastoma as a newborn baby in 2011.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

David was on an Army tour in Afghanistan<\/span> when Evan was born.<\/span> <\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c<\/span>I was in a meeting and someone came in to say that it has just been on British Forces Radio that I was a<\/span><\/p>\n

grandad<\/span>,<\/span>\u201d<\/span> says David. \u201cI went straight to a secure line and I phoned home to speak to my wife Maureen, who told me more about Evan being born.\u201d<\/span> <\/span><\/p>\n

But when<\/span> David rang again later that<\/span> night<\/span>,<\/span> the<\/span> atmosphere had completely changed<\/span>.<\/span> \u201c<\/span>S<\/span>he was in shock and<\/span> said,<\/span> \u201che\u2019s got cancer\u201d. I had been bouncing before I called and then suddenly time stood still.\u201d<\/span> <\/span><\/p>\n

David remained in Afghanistan, but after sleepless nights and constant worry he knew he needed to go home. \u201c<\/span>I felt so much love for a wee person I had never seen. I felt so detached but so close.<\/span> I was due to finish my<\/span> t<\/span>our<\/span> a few weeks<\/span> later<\/span> and so I was given compassionate leave and packed up,\u201d he says.<\/span> <\/span><\/p>\n

David<\/span> went<\/span> straight to see Evan from the airport.<\/span> \u201c<\/span>It was so good to see Evan, but I was also aware of not wanting to intrude. And I felt guilty \u2013 I felt guilty for being healthy, and for not being there when I was needed. <\/span> <\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c<\/span>My mind went to what I could do to help \u2013 how could I help<\/span> financially or<\/span> support them in any way I could.\u201d <\/span> <\/span><\/p>\n

Evan went to Manchester for his operation<\/span>, and David and Maureen were kept up to date. \u201c<\/span>T<\/span>hey sent a photo of him with a big scar on his stomach, but he had such a cheery smile on his face \u2013 it gave me so much hope.\u201d<\/span> <\/span><\/p>\n

David\u2019s advice for families going through a s<\/span>imilar struggle would be<\/span> not to<\/span> G<\/span>oogle<\/span> things. \u201c<\/span>T<\/span>here\u2019s so much o<\/span>ut<\/span> there that can terrify you,\u201d he says<\/span>.<\/span> \u201c<\/span>S<\/span>o<\/span> much that is false and scary to see\u201d.  <\/span> <\/span><\/p>\n

Evan<\/span> recovered<\/span> and his family were able to watch him grow up<\/span> into a healthy child. \u201c<\/span>As time went on, he became such a boisterous wee lad and we were able to have some normality, with having him overnight, or going on trips.\u201d<\/span> <\/span><\/p>\n

Looking back, David admits that there are moments he forgets, which<\/span> can<\/span> suddenly<\/span> come rushing back. \u201cI forgot that he had<\/span> s<\/span>epsis<\/span> twice \u2013 I don\u2019t know how I don\u2019t remember that but maybe it\u2019s that I am in denial<\/span>,\u201d he comments. \u201c<\/span>Other things come flooding back<\/span>,<\/span> moments like seeing a child with an oxygen tube<\/span> that<\/span> bring<\/span> it all back.\u201d<\/span> <\/span><\/p>\n

The whole experience has made David more emotional<\/span>.<\/span> \u201cI think I used to be quite tough but now I start welling up at some of the smallest things.<\/span> <\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI feel so privileged to have Evan and his sister Jor<\/span>j<\/span>a. We used to look after her sometimes too, and she\u2019s a teenager now<\/span> \u2013<\/span> we are so proud of how she has dealt with everything. <\/span> <\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI just love appreciating Evan for being a wee boy. I don\u2019t want to dwell on the sickness, but just seeing him being cheeky and funny. It\u2019s so special just to see him growing up.\u201d <\/span> <\/span><\/p>\n

Lilly<\/em><\/p>\n

Thanks to Vivienne, Liz and David for sharing their experiences with our Media Volunteer Liaison team.<\/em><\/p>\n

More on this topic<\/h3>\n<\/p>\n

Source<\/a><\/p><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Vivienne and Alyssa. Cancer is something that affects the whole family, and Vivienne describes how she also had to be there to support her daughter too. \u201cI had a lot of phone calls with Angela \u2013 she is my daughter and I wanted to help as there was so much to deal with. Sometimes I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5137],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-26327","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-world-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ogkologos.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26327","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ogkologos.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ogkologos.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ogkologos.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ogkologos.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=26327"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/ogkologos.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26327\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":44171,"href":"https:\/\/ogkologos.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26327\/revisions\/44171"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ogkologos.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=26327"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ogkologos.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=26327"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ogkologos.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=26327"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}